Turn Your Eyes

In one of our pre-field trainings, we were encouraged to "find something you are good at" during language learning.  This advice was offered because language learning is hard.  I would say it is one of the hardest things I have done in a long time.  The proposal to find something you are good at was simply counsel against discouragement in the language learning process.

In the midst of the beating that Spanish is and in the search for something I am good at, I have made some discoveries.  Here are the things in which I am thriving:

1. Being an insufficient wife and mother
2. Judging those who don't agree with my theology, political views, or culture
3. Self-righteousness
4. Burning and ruining meals at a new altitude and with crazy hot dysfunctional oven
5. Ruining the game of volleyball for everyone who plays on my team
6. Not keeping up with friends at home.
7. Offending people in my mother tongue AND a new language (ie. being a jerk)
8. Making excuses
9. Writing encouraging blog posts (sarcasm is really my mother tongue)
10. The list goes on and on.

Looks like it is a nice self-depricating list however the benefits of it's recognition have outweighed the sorrow of discovering such things.  I recognize that in my inadequacy, sin, weakness, Christ is adequate, perfect, and strong (2 Corinthians 13:9). I recognize that when I don't know what to say or do or pray about my shortcomings, I have the Holy Spirit who lives within me and intercedes for me (Romans 8:26  ). And I recognize that His grace is sufficient for all my insufficiencies (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)! 

So in trying to find something I am good at, I have found I can only turn my eyes upon Jesus, remember that He is strong in weakness, and that I should be trying to find Him and be like Him instead of any goodness or ability in myself.  AND if I do find any goodness or ability in myself, it is from Him anyways!